then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
Randomize
