you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
