Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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