I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
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