come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
I need to sanitize my soul.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
