Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
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