we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Randomize
