bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
I feel like death gave me a hand job
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
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