Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
