Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Randomize
