So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
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