fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
Randomize
