He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
Randomize
