I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
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