O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
Can I color on your dick again?
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
