i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
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