I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
he told me I talked like a deaf person
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
Randomize
