i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
Randomize
