Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
I think pants incapable of making pants work
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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