Pregnant stripper...not hot.
Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
Randomize
