Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
Are my feet made of real feet?
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
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