just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
Randomize
