Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
