Rock
Scissors
Fuck
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
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