I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
Ketchup is God's man juice
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
