Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
Randomize
