what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
In other news, I just burned my penis
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
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