The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
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