What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
