the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
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