I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
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