I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
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