Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
Randomize
