She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
