i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
