did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
