There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
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