RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Randomize
