Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
