This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
