I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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