Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
Randomize
