she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
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