To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
Randomize
