i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
Randomize
