Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Randomize
