none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
You can't special order awesome
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
Randomize
