i just had sex bonerless
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
