omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
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