Midget sex pt 2 tonight
White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
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